Things That I Am Learning As I Grow // LIFE

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I think that, while any portion of your life can be confusing and present problems, I am at the age where I currently feel more confused than I’ve ever been. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I feel like everything is a giant blur. I feel as though we are generally thrust into university quite unprepared for what’s ahead of us. And I would tend to say that throughout university, we are not entirely prepared for the ‘real world’ we will experience upon completion of our course, either. The last few years have been confusing ones for me, and as I enter into the final year of my degree, I feel as though I am less prepared for life than I have ever been. There have however been some things that I have been learning, or have come to realise as I have grown, and I wanted to share them with you in the hope that it will help you, or that you can tell me what you’ve learned as you have grown.

You don’t have to know how the rest of your life will pan out

This one is a pretty big one for me. After three years of studying, I have a general idea of what I want to do in life. Unfortunately, I have no plan of attack on how to get there. And I have come to realise that this is okay. At the end of this year, I will be 22. I will hold a double Bachelors (providing I don’t fail Spanish) and I will have no desire to begin working full time. Considering that I will probably be working until I am around triple the age I am now, I see no reason to panic about finding my ‘dream job’ immediately. Sure, if my dream job comes to me then I’ll obviously take it, but it’s something that I’m not going to lose sleep over anymore. I am young. I want to see every single inch of this world, and sitting in an office 9-5 for the rest of my life isn’t going to allow me to do that.

People will still be horrible after high school.

Sometimes people absolutely suck. It’s a fact of life, albeit an unfortunate one. Recently I have realised that no matter what you do, how you behave or what you achieve, there will always be someone who wants to bring you down. For some reason, these people feel as though they have the right to do so – to make you feel small and bring you down to make themselves feel better. As hard as it is, you need to remove yourself from the situation, and rise above it all. Some people thrive off of others getting upset, and you have to ensure you don’t let them have that satisfaction. Unfortunately, leaving highschool doesn’t instantly make people mature. People will try to bring you down and break you, but you have to make sure you don’t allow them to. And as the Top 12 of Australian Idol put it so eloquently in 2003 – “rise up” (sorry I had to).

Sometimes, you have to f*ck up

I’ve written an entire post on failure in the past (which can be found here), but I still think the message is just as important. Without messing up, we are unable to truly appreciate when we succeed. Without failure, we find ourselves unable to learn from the mistakes of ourselves or others. While life is wonderful when everything’s perfect, sometimes we need to bring ourselves back down to earth and ensure we remember to fail. Not always, just every now and then. Doing this also ensures that when we DO fail, we aren’t as hard on ourselves when it happens. I’ll be honest – I probably need this advice the most. Having always been painfully hard on myself when things go wrong, I quite often need to step back and reevaluate the entire situation before I get too down and out about doing something wrong. Besides, the story about the time you baked terrible cookies is going to be much more memorable than the time you baked a perfect, however ordinary batch.

Breathe

As someone who often forgets to do this, I worry that many others may be in the same boat as me. I stress. I panic. I get anxious. I know it’s happening, and I know that more often than not the situation is not as bad as I think it is, but when you’re stressing, nothing really fits into your perspective. Sometimes, everything gets a bit too much – I think everyone can agree on that. But when you take a step back and look at everything in a different light, it all begins to look okay again. I have learnt that sometimes life can be stressful. Sometimes things can get tough, and you have no idea how to deal with things. And that’s okay, so long as you calm down, breathe, and know that tomorrow will be a better day. I realise this post is not in line with my usual topics, but it’s something that I wanted to share. My mind has been all over the place recently, but I have found myself coming to these realisations, all of which have helped me understand things a little bit better. At the end of the day, I simply need to focus on what I am doing, ignore others, and get shit done.

What are some things you have learnt as you’ve grown? I’d love to hear them

x

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7 thoughts on “Things That I Am Learning As I Grow // LIFE

  1. Hey Tiahn ❤

    You are amazing and well done on this 'write'!

    We have been talking about similar things ourselves lately and now with Stephen starting uni this year and Andrew starting his Masters.

    I can also relate to what you have just written, even at this time in my life. I am not good at putting things into words like you have and well done on what you have written.

    Just know you are not alone with this. I went through a similar thing at your age and it continued at different stages of my life. You are right – there are so many people out there that can make our life difficult but we learn, and it does take practise, to focus on our good qualities and don't let these people make us think otherwise!

    Also, know that there are nice people out there too who love and respect you but we find hard to see when that cloud is in the way.

    As I said, I am not good at writing and expressing my thoughts by writing, but when we catch up (long overdue), remind me to tell you my story of 'Water off a ducks back'.

    Good luck Tiahn with your final year at Uni and well done with what have written – I love it xo

    1. Viv thank you so much, that was such a beautiful comment. I appreciate that advice a lot! I recognise that I am lucky to have so many wonderful people (such as yourself!) in my life, but as you said it can be hard when your vision is clouded!

      Thank you again so much xxxx

  2. Love the topic and website Tiahn. Would agree with every life lesson you’ve stated. Some of the things (I think) I’ve learnt.

    1. Things are never as bad as they seem.

    Sorta like your ‘breathe’ part before. When you’re in that moment where for example, a report is late or you’ve made a mistake that will directly effect other people, so long as you can breathe and are still alive, with time (a day, a week), these moments in life are long forgotten. You’ve moved on to what seemed like the end of the world at the time. Therefore in the moment of distress, step back and think, is it really that bad.

    2. You never stop learning, even when you think you got it.

    This is the ego destroyer. Whether you think you have completely grasped a scientific concept, perfected a skill better than anyone else, have the moral answer or opinion to a problem or debate, don’t be fooled. Life is complex, our brains simplify everything to make sense of what we experience and are told. Plus we are never given the whole picture. Just because someone is an ‘expert’ in something doesn’t mean they are always right (most experts deep down will know this). History says experts now and in the past are wrong. Question everything, question yourself. Embrace the possibilities and always be open to new information and ideas. Eventually you come to a ‘better’ understanding and you learn from it. Beware of the person who is 100% sure.

    3. Life is giving.

    Sounds cliche, sounds obvious, but I’ve recently been thinking about this more deeply. We spend our lives doing things for ourselves and for personal gain. But for what. What meaning and purpose does this give us? I think the meaning from life has more substance helping and loving others. (I need to develop this idea in my head more, because it still reads like a very obvious point to make :P) ❤

    and … I think I need to take my own advice as I'm a hypocrite on all these 3 points 😉

    1. Thank you Darren! For your kind words and for sharing your thoughts, they were great to read 🙂 I think that I am also incredibly hypocritical when it comes to not taking my own advice – but I’m getting there (albeit slowly) 🙂

      Thanks again Darren! See you soon x

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